I abandoned my account with near 5K followers on Instagram in March. My YouTube channel with 10K sits quiet collecting dust for some time now. As I’m writing this, it is my 26th birthday, which means I have officially been vulnerably sharing my ideas online for 10 years. During that time, I have disappeared from burn out and imposter syndrome SO many times. I could never understand how I could want it so bad, but hate it so much at the same time. But now, through many years of struggle, I feel alive making content. I see and hear my true authentic voice in everything I make. In this post, I would like to share with you how I got there, and some thoughts on how you can, too.

*Warning though, this is kind of a long one! A nice latte or cool smoothie might help you get into it and reflect on your own journey a bit more. Here’s a read through of what comes below so you can listen along if you’d like!

The Catalyst

When I was in Tokyo this year, hinabiyori, a friend of mine coaching Japanese online (who I met through my Instagram), asked me if she should start a new account or rework one of her old ones for her latest pivot. As an experienced social media manager who has grown business accounts from 0 to 50K+, I instantaneously had an answer for her. If she wanted to target an entirely new audience, it would be much better for her to start from scratch. She didn't love my answer though and groaned in response. I chuckled, but also felt a tinge of guilt in my gut. I related to her resistance. I myself had been holding onto an account that has stuck with me through some 3-5 pivots (honestly lost count). Her feelings were a very clear mirror into how I felt but wasn't necessarily voicing. For a long time I have been making lukewarm content that sort of connected to my old audience and also sort of connected to a new audience, but not really connecting to either audiences. Fear and limiting beliefs had a hold on me.

At the same time, I was staying at another creator friend's home. She is ahead of me, with a thriving channel and audience talking about spirituality and giving tarot readings. When I first came to her house, and saw how her home reflected her personality, I was in awe. It was insane to me how not only her content, but her environment was such a clear reflection of her mind. After the initial awe faded, a sticky dread dropped into stomach. It was as if I was looking at what I could have had, if I had only trusted myself and my energy more liberally. She is an inspiration to me, even though she doesn’t always see it. What’s more is this friend never knew the trends. She didn't follow all the guru advice to grow her accounts. I didn't see her spend all her time consuming content and trying to follow the big people in her space. Half the things I worry about most when making content she had never even heard of before. She made the things that she wanted to make and that she felt honoured her community and her natural energy. The hard work she put in was to reinvent herself NOT to invent some other identity.

These two wonderful people placed in my life served as wake up calls to a higher inner purpose more profound than chasing followers and a validation echo chamber. I knew something had to change. No more superficiality. No more content just to please the algorithm. Admittedly, easier said than done.

Phase 1: Not trying to figure out a niche or what your brand is.

After a great night unpacking all the realisations that came from hanging out with my Tokyo friends, I decided that I had to start taking my own advice and push myself out of the nest. I would create a new account and start digging into how I really want to show up online. No more just making content to make content. No more social media people pleasing.

I made the new IG account and played around with my imagery and wording on Substack, and of course, got tempted to put myself in a shiny new niche box straight off the bat. Luckily, I caught myself in the act rather early, and then set a rule for my content exploration:

No niches, no 'announcements' on what kind of content I'm making. Just get up, show up and see what you make every day for the month. The main idea was to explore ideas, not make content.

When I removed the expectations for my content, and who I was trying to be, the ideas just FLOWED out of me. My Obsidian flooded with notes, quotes and anecdotes. Here on Substack, I explored the human condition, human design, philosophy, spirituality, culture, world views and much more through my comments on others work. I was getting inspired left right and centre, and for the first time ever, I felt compelled to create EVERY DAY. I didn't miss a single day of writing for two months (one month of exploration incidentally turned into two). I realised for the first time how much I loved writing, and how with long-form essays and succinct poems helped me express myself better than I ever managed with my old creative process for social media posts.

Many Faced God by Rae Chuck is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

Phase 2: Using inspiration to embody your higher self

During my open creation experiment era, I found sincerely.rii.life on YouTube. She uploaded her first long-form video entitled, "How to beat self-sabotage to achieve success" and appeared in my recommendations. I could feel her positive energy and our future friendship from the screen. The video didn't have more than 150 views, and her channel only 40 subscribers, yet it left a distinct impression on me. It reminded me that our content can have a great impact, no matter the numbers. I reached out to her, and the two of us talked for hours about life and our creative ideas. The meeting was only supposed to be an hour, but we extended the call three times. At the end, I felt inspired by how inspired I was by her. She was younger than me with less total followers than me and also so bright with so much to share. If she could have that kind of impact on me, surely I can have that impact on others, no matter the reach. We made an accountability pact to put some positive pressure on our next steps and encourage each other to keep marching on.

She is not the only one though. For about a year now, I've been talking about starting a visual podcast inspired by people like lynette.adki, briajones, hindsight, and others, but each time I made an attempt I really hated what came out and I still felt like I was just scratching the surface with what I really wanted to say. It felt like I wasn’t able to sink into myself and tap into the fun, raw and real guide I really wanted to be. A part of me was still projecting an image instead of making moves from pure authenticity.

Part of my goal for phase one (which carries on through to phase 4) was to break through that feeling and whatever else that was causing the boring unrecognisable self I was seeing in my content. I am no stranger to going back to the drawing board with my content and ideas, but this time I took it a step further and started reading with purpose. I surrounded myself with the kind of creators and minds not only with the aesthetic and brand vibe I wanted to emulate, but with the people who were saying the things I was craving to say. The key was that these people did not only have what I want, but were showing up in the ways I craved. They were examples of who I could embody today, not just representations of things I don’t have.

Their inspiration caused a chain reaction of other shifts, with a big one being less content and more ideas. I started to answer my own questions and combine the reading with action, writing down my thoughts and articulating my messaging. It was the beginning of truly embodying the kind of person I want to be; not just intellectualise and project myself there. The kind of person who draws from community, who sees the depth in creation, not just the quick trends, the cute recs and the aesthetic edits. The person who focuses on their will to say something and the connections they will make along the way rather than the performance of saying what people want to hear for follows and engagement.

While I was reading, I saw how much these creators, writers and community leaders I aspired to be like pulled from their community, elders and mentors. I saw how much they brought receipts to their journey. These inspiring creatives weren't just telling me something or teaching me something. They weren't just selling their knowledge. They were inviting me into a new community, a new world that was warm and full of hope. This world already had so many before us paving the way and sharing different pieces of the puzzle and everyone there was welcome. It wasn't a petty competition for the finite, it was an open invitation to abundance.

One of the reads in particular that really blew my mind was Pleasure Activism by Adrienne Maree Brown, who wrote in such a casual way when she wanted to and told everything like it is. She wrote with such joy and authenticity, and challenged us with homework in the first chapter to think about our 'lineage', our history of awakenings brought by other creators and mentors that have led to our creative (erotic) empowerment. Even within a single paragraph, her and her interviewees drop liked 10 names at a time, bubbling with the joy of the gifts they received and happy to share them with new virgin ears to the topic.

This made me realise that when you read and follow someone who speaks to you, it's more than just appreciating their work; it's about connecting with their essence and the lineage they represent. I began re-framing my consumption and envy of other content to a deep connection to a mission which inspired me to bring that authenticity into my own content. Instead of chasing trends or followers, I focused on creating content that resonated with my true self, my community and the people doing the work before me.

This perspective shift has made all the difference in how I approach my work and interact with my audience. Each piece I create now is a reflection of my journey, my learnings, and my authentic self, an identity I no longer feel embarrassed by. Everything started to click for me, and the work I was creating felt magnetic. I am proud of each and every piece that comes out of me now. I am proud because I feel like an extension of a legacy. I am proud because I felt at home in everything I am magnifying.

To build up a library is to create a life. It’s never just a random collection of books.— Carlos María Domínguez

Now, I don't just see content creation as a means to an end, but as an art form that can genuinely touch lives and build connections.

Phase 3: Discovering my true audience and re-defining my why.

Opening up myself to phase one’s 'no-niche, just create' approach allowed me to see what I was truly passionate about. However, even though I love creating just to create, it is also exhausting to have no map, no framework and no goals to visually measure what it is I'm actually spending so much time doing. Additionally, for me personally, 'I want to make cool shit' though powerful, wasn't enough to validate creation for me. I believe everyone's goal online to a greater or lesser extent should be to make an impact or impression on some people, your people, and to do that, we need a why or a mission that speaks to our audience.

I watched a video by tarralustudio who introduced the idea of a 'fake audience' vs 'true audience' to me. She said that those of us who struggle to be authentic and grow have a tendency to be creating for a 'fake audience', which is one that you assume you should be serving. It is a group of people you may have seen somewhere else on the internet and are slowly trying to win them over to appreciate you and some of the things you do. She uses the example of people who are waiting for their family and friends to interact with their content to validate their direction, instead of shifting their energy and attention to the audience that is waiting to be catered to.

I realised that for a long time, I was creating for this fake audience, and grumbling about why they didn't care more about what I cared about instead of developing the ideas my people really want to know about. For example, I believe that polyglotism is the most amazing entryway to truly understanding the world, and what sits at the core of humanity past our limiting beliefs and socialisations. It always frustrated me that people only seemed to want to see me talk about which textbooks I used and not what the world was outside of the bounds of one language. Sure, there may be more people interested in the textbooks. But there are people interested in what's beyond. And I haven't served them because I was too busy making half-hearted content for the textbook people. Plus, who knows? Maybe when you pour your heart into what you really want people to know, you will inspire more people to join your true audience crew.

In defining my true audience, I allowed myself to become more intimate with my mission. After all, the two go hand in hand. My mission is really a dream that I have for my true audience.

For inspiration, here's my big north-star mission for my content (and my life to be honest):

To be an activist of joy, helping mindful humans cultivate their unique genius & be inspired by the world and its many mirrors. To empower said humans to sustainable action that honours us, our community and environment.

As an extension to my writing and activism, I also spent some time thinking about what I wanted out of Instagram or YouTube, if I still wanted a relationship at all. In the end, I indeed still wanted a way to express myself that was more personal and silly, a bit less formal, a bit less informational. I wanted a presence that allowed me to give people a hug through a screen, to offer some of my energy in a palpable way. I also wanted to make these big, abstract ideas more relatable and digestible for the public, so I still wanted to make short-form content, too. I really enjoyed @inspiredmediaco's content on creating a 'Signature Series' and how to create content that was 'you-coded', a perspective that shifted away from the traditional niche perspective. In one of her reels, she broke down what she would do if she was starting instagram over from scratch. Here is what she said:

1. WHY "Get clear on your why, why are you doing the unnatural thing of showing up online?

2. HOW "How will you accomplish them? With what energy, will you influence people"

3. WHAT "What topics will you talk about (the actual content) & your capacity for posting"

Though most of this is a bit self-explanatory for me, I considered my why for short-form again. What did I really want people to do when they saw my content? What did I want them to feel? Through this whole exploration, I realised that all the social change I was hoping to enact, perhaps did not need to happen on every platform. People go to Instagram to be inspired, not to be lectured, and there was a real case for lighter content that introduced people to the energy of what I wanted to promote also. So, I developed a separate, more concise why for my top of the funnel, short-form content:

helping mindful people be happy & healthy so they can honour themselves and their {global} community

As I write this, I am also considering changing 'mindful people' to activists, because perhaps that communicates the kind of ripple change I would love to be a part of. To those reading, do you consider yourself an activist? Let me know:

Phase 4: Moving closer to a (relatively) set 'brand'

Okay so maybe it's not really set. I don't think I will ever go back to a limiting niche or box that has me making the same content, in the same style, ever again. Instead, what I'm moving towards is a true-audience, mission based lifestyle brand, that attracts the kind of person I'm really interested in interacting with. I'm motivated to make content because I have started to realise it is not that people weren't interested. They were always interested. We just need to give ourselves the permission to really say the things we are afraid to say. Give yourself the permission to be the brand you want to see. F*ck everything else.

I no longer shift my brand with the hope of being more 'marketable'. I am not searching for who I am talking to exactly, but rather figuring out the truest way of saying what I feel in my heart. How can I best communicate this genius that sits hiding right beneath my tongue with the people who are dreaming of hearing it (even if they don't know it yet)? I also no longer do this process alone in a self-shame chamber. I lean on friends and send a lot of voice notes and allow unfinished words to form. Every time they responded, I could get a better picture of the gap between what's in my heart and what I was able to communicate. If you have more followers, you could do this together with your community as well.

After each iteration, I'd sit with myself, not quite ready to share it too loudly. I had to see how it fit who I was becoming as a creator. Too many times I'd come up with some idea that seemed to be a niche I could stick with, a box that seemed to contain me, and in a weeks time, I felt it no longer held up, or worse, I didn't feel I had earned the title. There had also been times when I'd seen a piece of content I worked hard on making fit a certain audience have success, go viral, and I would get a lot of comments and emails asking me about its contents. Each time, I'd shrivel and shy away from any opportunities that came because in all honesty-- I didn't want to be that person I invented for that video. So this time, I was determined not to rush it, not to proclaim anything in particular. Just to make things, and read things and keep reiterating what it is I feel probing at me from my core.

Finally, I feel ready to share a bit of what the picture is becoming, though it will evolve, as I evolve, too. Hello sunshine! The Earth says hello! Welcome to my new era I shake you warmly by the hand, I'm Rae and...

💌 I Have an Announcement: The Publication has a new name & The Podcast is near.

I have been quietly calling my publication and YouTube channel 'Wuwei' for around a year now. Wuwei is one of the most influential philosophies in my life. It has guided me to slow down, to embrace my needs, called me to action... but I felt it did not fully communicate everything I wanted to say, nor invoke the kind of curiosity I'd hoped to give people the opportunity to discover it. While Wuwei is still a core of everything I do, instead of leading with the concept of Wuwei, I have decided to mix and fold it into the batter of this publication. We are now, {The} .

My publication and mission stands to introduce the core wisdom, knowledge and guidance of world philosophies, cultures and individuals around the world to inspire and empower people to sustainable action in their own lives, in their communities, and ultimately to impact the world. My experience as a slow traveller, as a product of third-culture, as a polyglot with intimate access to many cultures, have all pointed me to the same core truths. There is a naturally wise, self-organised intelligence to nature, not only that of the-great-outdoors, but that of our personal nature and inner drives. Yet, we are socialised to distance ourselves from our needs, distance ourselves from simplicity, distance ourselves from nature and magic. Instead, we are urged to adapt mechanised lifestyles and habits that alienate us from ourselves and our support systems; from life itself. Somehow, the world is dead and dark, but we supposedly can find happiness in meaningless junk that lines the pockets of the 1% and oppresses people I don't have to witness, who I have also subliminally discarded. It is a gross oversimplification of life, and a loss of our imagination, our ability to dream a better dream for humanity, one that marries the wisdom of nature (the feminine) with the structure of modernity (the masculine).

This is why I renamed the publication {The} Many Faced God, because around the world, we have all witnessed and articulated the magic of life, community and interconnectedness. We all have ancestors who celebrated oneness, and who have celebrated the powerful love that powers all growth. I hope to continue to help make connections between such knowledge and promote it more for a warmer, healthier world.

I will write a whole post later in depth on the different nuances of the name, and what it represents, if you are interested in reading about it, consider subscribing.

Many Faced God by Rae Chuck is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

Conclusion

My journey with content and connecting deeper to my inner compass, my natural voice and my internal power is far from over, but I hope this essay has served as inspiration for your own journey home. Our voice and our truth lies at the intersection of what comes naturally, what inspires envy and what evokes meaning. When we turn away from what isn’t us and dedicate ourselves to finding evidence of our like-minds and soul-siblings thriving— we prove to ourselves that we were valuable all along. We allow our genius to poke through, and our magic to change lives.

Upcoming Drafts Already in the Making

1. Natal Qi vs Prenatal Qi: Why you are burnt out according to Chinese wisdom.
2. Podcast: It can't be easier if you are making it hard.
3. Things my Taiwanese Fiancé and I are thinking about when planning the future
4. Open your mind with thought management
5. Highlighting some community restoration projects I've been inspired by recently
6. Microactivism
7. Jamaican is a language.

...and many more ideas that have flown out of me in this creative awakening I'm on. I have already edited two podcast episodes, and you can keep your eyes peeled soon for the first entry.

Comment the ideas in this post that interest you most, I'd love to write more just for you! + Also make sure to subscribe to the publication to keep updated and support. If this post inspired you, consider buying me a coffee, it was my birthday this week!

Many Faced God by Rae Chuck is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.